Migraines were ruining her life.

You hear it all the time, and in Heather’s case, it was no exaggeration.

Heather told me stories of migraines that would come on at work. They would start with

a throbbing pain in her forehead, right behind her left eye. Within an hour, the pain would be so severe that she could barely function.

Several times, realizing that she could no longer remain at work in such terrible pain but unable to drive home, someone would need to come pick her up. Not only was she in fear of losing her job from missing so much work, but her headaches had put her husband's job in jeopardy as well.

Her migraines would come in waves: first, the unbearable pain in her head and then the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, sweating, and chills. After the peak of the second wave, the worst symptoms would subside. Exhausted and with her head still throbbing, she would climb into bed and lie as still as possible.

Even the slightest movement would exacerbate the pounding, throbbing, and stabbing sensations.

Sometimes she would get through a day of working, running errands, and shuttling the kids around only to find that when she did have a moment to sit down and relax, her headache would rush in and prevent her being able to enjoy one of her favorite parts of the day: reading to her kids before bedtime.

Her stress about impending migraines was off the charts. She was hyper alert to any changes in her vision that might be an aura and anxious that at any minute the flashing zigzags would begin and make her blind in one eye.

It was agonizing, and it had a domino effect on her already undermined and tired mind/body system.

The stress was making the migraines more frequent and more severe.

Once, she had to miss the end of her son’s Little League game when the sun was so bright, and the nausea forced her to go home.

The last straw was when she had to miss her daughter‘s fifth birthday party. She had tried hard to manage her stress that day. She took her medication when the aura came on and crossed her fingers. But when the nausea came, and the pounding became unbearable, she went upstairs to lie down in the dark.

In the quiet, alone with her pain and her feelings of shame, she said, I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.

We all have moments when we say, “I can’t do this anymore”. Usually it is when we are so exhausted and depleted that we can’t manage life’s stressors. I like to call them Bathroom Floor Moments as that is often where people find themselves when they are completely depleted to the point of surrender.

Most people remember that exact moment; the pause between the before and the after. In that sweet moment of surrender comes the peace of renewed hope. There is something magical in surrender, in acknowledging that you can’t keep doing what you are doing, that you have to let go and try something altogether different.

When I met Heather she had tried everything to resolve her migraines: bodywork, hypnotherapy, meditation, medication, and biofeedback. She altered her diet. She reorganized her days in anticipation of attacks.

But nothing seemed to keep her from missing the big moments in her life.

She had given up hope that she would ever be free of headaches. She was tired, frustrated and resigned to living with them. Her doctors couldn’t help; even her neurologist couldn’t find any physical underlying reason for her migraines. She felt out of options.

She also felt out of touch with her body. She was so focused on managing her headaches that was all she could focus on.

I asked Heather to try to find her way to the present moment.

Finding our way to the present moment is a skill most of us have never been taught. We are often focused on the next thing coming, that we don’t even know where we are at any moment.

Noticing your surroundings is a good place to start. Sit comfortably and notice what is in front of you. Just observing without commentary.

Our minds are prone to associations so you may look at something and think, “that old ugly vase” or “the book from my brother”. It is easy to get caught up in the story but you are trying to get out of your thoughts with this practice so keep your observations as simple as possible; the blue vase, a book.

Take your time to name at least 5 things you see. Let things rise to meet your awareness, name them, and let them go.

Once you are comfortable with this practice you can turn this same awareness inward to your body. Scan your body and notice what rises. Simply naming the sensations; my legs feel heavy, my jaw is tight, my forehead hurts.

It is easy to fall into associations and self criticism when naming what goes on inside our bodies. It takes time and practice to disengage from the story.

If you find yourself caught in the story, bring your attention back to the room and notice 5 more things. Shifting back and forth between your surroundings and yourself until you can feel your sensations without judgment or explanation.

Heather learned to feel her feet on the ground and the weight of her body in the chair. She learned to follow her breath.

Over time, she learned that her body was trying to tell her that something in her life was not right.

Her headaches came from a part of her that was worried about her, a part that was trying to protect her. She was driven to take care of the needs of others at the expense of her own needs. She gave too much, too often, and rarely said “No”.

She was spread so thin by people-pleasing that her migraines were her body’s way of saying “no” when she couldn’t find a way to do it for herself.

The mindbody connection is a powerful thing; more powerful than most of us realize. Heather’s survival strategies had wired her nervous system toward headaches from an early age and she was stuck in a pattern of pain. With education, mindfulness, and mindbody exercises, she was able to let go of the past stressors and learn new, less painful patterns.

Helping women find that quiet whisper is why I’m called to this work of somatic-based healing: listening to the inner voices not just in the head but in the body to get to the root of what’s going on.

Our bodies are always communicating with us, and with awareness and the right tools and practice, we can learn to listen to their wisdom.

Do you feel like there is something just below the surface that you can’t quite hear?

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I offer one-on-one somatically-based guidance to help stressed out and anxious women calm their nervous systems, so they can get in touch with their deep body wisdom, trust their inner truth, and connect to all that they are.

Find out if you could benefit from my approach, schedule a consultation, or drop me a note and tell me what you need.